I wish...

Sometimes I feel like I’m in the wrong place…at the wrong time…Can it be possible?Can God make such a mistake and put someone were it doesn’t belong?I always felt like this since..ever….at least since I can remember…since I was 5 or 6 year old.Why do I get the impression that many things(with a strong influence on my life) have started around that age, before I was 7?

Whatever…

I feel like I should be living in the past…in a tough  place…tough times…in a time and place when people belived in their instincts …when people had faith….when people lived in union with the nature….

I wish I could walk without shoes and no one to stare at me for that…..feel the ground under my feet, feel the rocks, feel the grass…I wish I could go out  and dance in the rain…feel the raindrops on my skin…I wish I could fall asleep in the woods, looking at the stars, make a fire….i wish I could pack a small bag and leave….move from town to town…work today as a waitress, tomorrow as a dancer, another day as a dish washer….

That’s the kind of freedom I want…..having as few needs as possible, only what I need to live from a day to another….living just for knowledge…experience….

Am I asking for too much?Why everyone wants more, and I’m the only one who needs less?Is that a bad thing?Is that why they  judge me?Just because I can do/get more it doesn’t mean I want it…I want different things then others ….

Sometimes I wish I was a carnie( you know, one of the carnivale people)….that’s the kind of freedom I want….living under the sky…having such a big “family” …..I wonder what type I would be…wich one would be my trick, my thing…probably I would be a dancer….

-.that’s my idea of happiness, doing what you love to do for a living.

It might sound funny for you, but... I wish I could live in a time and place  where dancers wouldn’t be seen as whores so I could dance freely....

Who knows….

maybe I  can still make my dreams come true…

You never know what future will bring you…

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