The movie Waterloo Bridge-with Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor -always reminds me of him, of us.Of course, I'm talking about my army guy.I thought of him lately.And this morning as I woke up I saw I had a message from him.I still care about him, still wish I could be with him, but I'm scared.I'm so stupid I'm afraid I'm not good enough for him, and that's why I push him away.Like I do with everyone.I think sometimes I belive I'm worthless, not good enough for no matter who.
You wonder what's the story with this guy?
Well, I'd say it's a story like those you see only in movies.
You see, the thing is I always felt somehow connected with the army.I remember when i was less then 8 years old I had only one thing in my mind:that when I grow up I wanna be an army girl.I was daydreaming about it all the time.Then, when I was 15 I think,a gipsy told me I will get married with a man in uniform, a military guy.I didn't really belived it.
But then, last summer, in july I met him.An army guy.He wasn't quite my type.Actually not at all my type.He had blonde hair and green eyes.From Houston.Working in Germany, but fighting in Irak.Those months we spent "together" were the best I've ever had .For the first time I felt I was on the right path, doing what I was meant to.We were a perfect match.Just like...as if we were made for each other.Still...somehow...something broke in each of us...we both had our own problems ...we were going through hard times...we both felt the need for space, isolation....so we stopped talking....
Even if we were not in touch anymore, something was still alive in each of us...it still is...maybe in time we can reconnect...Sometimes you need to work hard to get closer to someone....Sometime you need to heal your wounds before you can let someone else in your heart...Lost trust can be regained...but it needs a lot of effort...
It will happen only what it's meant to happen...we can't run away from our destiny...if we do that, we fail.We live like ghosts, like a shadow of the things we could've been.
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