Weather's like my soul

So much raining lately.It's funny that it always rains when I'm sad.As if the sky was crying with my tears.Tears that turned into floods. Same old feelings:anger, frustration.I thought I 've got over then.I blamed the weather for my moods,  I blamed the winter,the fall, I blamed the food saying it was filled with chemicals, I blamed the pills I used to take, I blamed coffe, Pepsi, so many things I've put the blame on.Maybe all the blame is on me, because I'm enable to deal with my emotions, I have no control over them.I blame especially her, for doing nothing for me.She's just watching me so calmly while I distroy myself everydays.She would get mad if she knew the things I was accusing her.But that's the truth, even if it's unconsciously, she enjoys me being so damaged.Because this is the only way she can keep me with her.If I were ok, I would've never stayed here with here more then a week.Only the broken me prefers this place,otherwise...If I would be perfectly fine I would go as far as I could, without looking back, not even for a second.

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