Friends come and leave...



I've heard many people saying they will never give up on their friends for the one they're  in a relationship with. They say friends were there before, that friends stay with them but their lover might leave anytime.

I totally disagree. Firstly, I think friends are not as important as the one you love. I would give up on all of my friends for the right one. Why? Because friends are just friends, I'll spend with them not more then a few hours daily.  If I move to another city, will they come with me? No, they won't. But a boyfriend might, a husband definately will. So, based on this, tell me, who's the most important? You  will spend with your lover  most of the day, he's the one you go to bed with, he's the one you'll call family, he will be the father of your kids. So again, tell, can you dare telling me friends are more important then him?

Then...it's wrong to think that friends are forever. No matter how strong is your friendship with someone, there are more chances for your friendship to end, then for you relationship to end.  I'm sorry, It will sound very mean what I'm about to say, but it's my honest opinion and I'm really sorry if I hurt anyone's feeling. I think that friends are just two similar people, or just 2 people in need, that find support in each other. And one thing that I've noticed is that once you change yourself, you change your friends, because you have nothing in common with them anymore. A huge space appears between you and them, there's a silence you can't fill anymore. You have to move on over them. Yes you're grateful for the things they did for you, for all the lovely memories, but that's all. When it has to end, there's no point of keep trying to mentain something like this.

Am I wrong?
I'm saying this thinking about a recent event.
Just a few days ago I was visiting my grandparents, in the village where I've spent most of my childhood.
In the evening I went out with my 14 years old cousin. We sat on a bench, in a kid's park.
After a while many other kids, teenagers came there. Among  them, there were 2 of my childhood's best friends. Two boys. Don't be surprised that my best friends were boys, I've said before, I was always something like....rather a tomboy. Since...ever, I guess, at least since I remember, something around 6 years. Since that age I prefered boy's company.

So, these two guys I'm talking about, R. and S. were my best friends. We used to play together in the morning, in the kindergarten. And then in the afternoon we usually played home , at them. It's funny, because they had a sister, and a cousin(girl), but I never played with them, I enjoyed more staying and playing with boys.

My familiy used to  tease me about playing with them, not only back in those days, but for many years after I grew up. They always said we were more then just friends(me and those 2 boys). They always asked questions with irony, like :" Whare are you two(three) doing there in the backyard?".

Anyway...I won't give more details. It's not important. The only thing I was trying to prove is that they used to be my best friends. They were important for me. I've got plenty of nice memories with them.
Over the years distance came between us. I started school, went back to the city and stopped talking to them. Was it my fault,  I did it because I was now a city girl and they were just country boys? I don't think so, I hope not. Maybe that's how they saw me, as someone to goog for them. The only think that remained between us was a shy "Hy" .  Such a shame, when you think we were best friends.
So...this time I've started to talk with them, after 14 years of mostly silence, and a few "hy".
I asked them a lot of querstion like "why do we never talk, only greet each other" , " do you remember how we used to play, when I was at your place.."

What do you think?
On the first question they said that they didn't dare talking to me. That's all, no matter how much I insisted, they refused to give me  more details. They were so shy around me. I'm aware of the many differences between me and them, but even if I were a princess and them them the servants, that shouldn't stop them...I mean, jeeeez, we used to be best friends guys, what the hell happened ?

The sad thing is what they answered on the other question. They didn't even remember we went to the same kindergarten. They forgot about our friendship. They had no memories about the wonderful days we spent together. I was not a part of their past.

That's why I say friends are not forever. How can someone forget memories wich are so clear for me? How can they totally forget me being their friend?

Because time passes,  people change, past becomes more and more clouded....many things are forgot no matter how great they were...

That's why I don't value friends more then lovers.

In time friends become strangers with familiar faces.



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