And what's worst, it't me the one who actually felt hurt. I blamed him. I thought he ain't talking to me anymore because he is mean., because he might have used me is some way and now he needs me no more.
I feel so bad when despite my best intentions, I hurt someone, involuntary and without realising I did it.
But am I really the one to blame, is it 100 % my fault?
I mean, how was I supposed to know someone has feelings for me as long as he keeps them for him? How should I know he saw me as more then a friend, he wanted me to be more then a shoulder to cry on? Just because he said he missed me a few times, just because he found a way to include me in his busy schedule? Sorry, but even friends, neighbours, coleagues miss me and that doesn't mean they're in love with me. And all the other things wich were a part of our friendship, they might have left you with the impression we're on our way to being more then friends. I'm not saying I didn't want that, but.....I never thought you want it too. I was sure you were just like...a friend in need, and you searched for my company just because I made you forget about your ex. How was I supposed to know you have feelings and plans with me?
If you're always waiting for the right time, you might loose some things in someone elses favor, someone who doesn't wait for the right time. That's what I always tell them. Sorry, but that's just me. If you delay confessing you feelings, I'm not gonna waste time, I'll move on. I like honest people, those who are not afraid to say what they feel, what they want from me. Have you ever said you want me to be your girlfriend? Ever said you love me or just care about me? No, you haven't. So, am I to blame I moved on to someone who dared to tell me the truth about his intentions? Is it my fault you seemed imature to me, not willing to involve in a serious relationship? Is it my fault you seemed selfish and many times a jerk?
So...I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings, but it's your fault you never said you have them.
And...don't you think it's mean and selfish to give up on our friendship just because of that?
I can't erase the present, can't go back to the day you had your chance for more. I hope it's not selfish to say I'm happy and pleased where I stand now. Don't know about the future,but for now I already got what I need and I'm not gonna trade it for somnething else.
If you wanna keep being my friend that's fine, it would mean a lot, mean that you were a real friend, not just one taking advantage of my kindness. If not....leave, you're free to do it, I'm not gonna beg you to be my friend because I'm not the type to keep people in my life by force.
All I can do/say is saying an honest "I'm sorry" because I never wanted to hurt you. I don't play with feelings like so many think about me. It's just that...we're man and woman, we "speak" different 'languages" so it's a common thing to get the wrong idea.
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